I Love My Cockapoo Forums banner
1 - 20 of 59 Posts

·
Administrator
Joined
·
487 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Posting on the Internet is a double-edged sword. On one hand, you get to talk to a lot of people from all walks of life and hear a lot of different view points. But on the other hand, we all hide behind a cloak of anonymity. This anonymous nature of posting on forums can sometimes lead us to get carried away and say things we don't really mean, etc.

With that said, I'd just like to remind everyone that we're here to discuss our cockapoos, and the joys & responsibilities that come along with owning a dog. We're not here to play a game of who's right and who's wrong, or who's better than whom. Before you make a post on the forums, especially in a heated discussion or debate, think to yourself first:

"Is this something I would say to this person if I was talking to them face-to-face?"

If you answer yes, then submit the post. If you question yourself though and believe the answer may be no, then don't submit the post. At the very least, take a break and wait a little while to submit the post. Get your mind away from the situation. When you're ready, come back and re-read your post. Chances are, you'll realize that what you wrote might be a bit harsh, aggressive/defensive, etc.

Keep in mind that emotions don't always translate in written text. If you post something lighthearted with a hint of sarcasm, someone else might not pick up on the sarcasm. This could result in them interpreting your message as hostile or mean. Please re-read your posts and think twice before you submit them.

We're all here to have a good time and make friendships. Don't sweat the small stuff. If you disagree with someone, you always have the option to stop responding or add that person to your ignore list. Sometimes you'll just have to agree to disagree on certain matters.

I've been running forums since 2004. If there's one thing I learned about this topic over that time period, it's that members can often avoid confrontations by thinking about the question I posed earlier:

"Is this something I would say to this person if I was talking to them face-to-face?"

Hiding behind the cloak of anonymity, it's easy to assert yourself and not worry about what the other person might think. I'm asking everyone: do think about what the other person might think! If you really think about it, it's just not worth it (and certainly not fun) to get into arguments over petty disputes on an Internet forum.

So what do you say? Will you all try to keep all the conversations here lighthearted so everyone can enjoy themselves and have fun? :)

I might be making some more announcements on related matters over the next couple days, depending on how things progress. Stay tuned for that.

Thanks,
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,490 Posts
Thank you Dave, well said xx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,707 Posts
Thank you Dave. I love this forum as have learned a lot about Cockapoos and have hopefully given a bit of advice along the way although not much as Beau is only 5 months old but I have always had dogs. I also love seeing other Cockapoos and how they are getting on but I have to say I have been getting a bit fed up lately with some of the arguments as they were getting very personal and as you say if someone doesn't agree with something then don't follow that thread! Thank you once again for setting up such a brilliant forum :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,615 Posts
As long as it is acknowledged that people are allowed to have their own opinions then there is no reason why this can't be a nice place to talk Cockapoo. It doesn't have to get personal, we are all grown ups and should be able to discuss things objectively. We will never all agree with each other about everything but there are people on here who have a lot of experience and knowledge and I personally would like to hear from everyone. :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,578 Posts
As long as it is acknowledged that people are allowed to have their own opinions then there is no reason why this can't be a nice place to talk Cockapoo. It doesn't have to get personal, we are all grown ups and should be able to discuss things objectively. We will never all agree with each other about everything but there are people on here who have a lot of experience and knowledge and I personally would like to hear from everyone. :D
Totally agree with you :)

What I say on forums I would say to some-ones face.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,185 Posts
Yep, well said.

There are so many forums out there where members seem to thrive on hostility, antagonism and extreme views I was pleased to find this forum where members are fun and friendly but it does feel like things have got a little out of hand over some topics. Let's hope we can hang onto the fun and friendly nature of this forum.

Maybe as well as a 'Thanks' button we could have a 'Cool It' button and if a member gets a certain number of strikes then they get locked out for a day or two to cool down or find another forum that suits them better.

Or maybe private threads or 'rooms' where like minded members can form groups to chat privately, kinf of like private messaging but as a running thread instead of a string of messages???
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,615 Posts
Yep, well said.

There are so many forums out there where members seem to thrive on hostility, antagonism and extreme views I was pleased to find this forum where members are fun and friendly but it does feel like things have got a little out of hand over some topics. Let's hope we can hang onto the fun and friendly nature of this forum.

Maybe as well as a 'Thanks' button we could have a 'Cool It' button and if a member gets a certain number of strikes then they get locked out for a day or two to cool down or find another forum that suits them better.

Or maybe private threads or 'rooms' where like minded members can form groups to chat privately, kinf of like private messaging but as a running thread instead of a string of messages???
I would not like to think that members could effectively vote another member off by pressing a button! That is why we have mods, they are an unbiased forum member who can look at threads objectively.

A forum is a public platform for discussions, you have private messages if you want to discuss behind closed doors. How would you decide who could join your private thread? Doesn't sound very inclusive to me. :confused:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,185 Posts
I would not like to think that members could effectively vote another member off by pressing a button! That is why we have mods, they are an unbiased forum member who can look at threads objectively.

A forum is a public platform for discussions, you have private messages if you want to discuss behind closed doors. How would you decide who could join your private thread? Doesn't sound very inclusive to me. :confused:
Just airing some thoughts and ideas really as it looks like Dave is thinking about ways to adapt the forum to take the heat off a bit. The forum isn't always as light hearted and fun as it used to be :)
 
G

·
dave yes i agree but we must always say what we feel and honestly from the heart remember we are all individuals with our own levels of experience and ideas , we are not always going to agree ........but disputes will arise and we should have freedom of speech janice
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,758 Posts
I agree with mandy that some other forums are really hostile and unpleasant and I would hate to see that happen here. I think that it is important that people express their opinions in a polite and non-judgemental manner. We should respect other people's opinions, and be able to communicate our thoughts without criticising. Above all, the members of this forum have always helped and supported each other as "cyber friends" and I would like to see this continue. I really hope that the moderators take a firm stand against any move towards conflict. We can share views without that. It's all about mutual respect.
 
G

·
one thing we DO NOT WANT is hostility to any person or,breeder but if i may be honest with out getting shot !!!! jd you do over do your posts you have only been breeding a few years (stephen) julia has been a lot longer and more experience but when you post you do go over the top and you make me ! feel like i am not important and others feel the same way you advertise your puppies with videos linked to you tube that i feel is not ok ,i send individual videos and pics to my people i dont post on an internet forum i hope this does not upset you but this forum should be about people not a persons business and advertising , your advertising should be on your website or private ... janice
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,615 Posts
So how would you feel if you were given the wrong advice and someone pointed it out - that would cause a difference of opinion? Or take the discussion on training methods where there are two camps of dog training? We are not just talking about two people having a difference of opinion we are talking about the entire world of dog training being divided and it is very interesting. I for one would like to be able to discuss these things sensibly with other members without people getting defensive just because I don't agree with another member poster. It does not mean that they are being targeted it just means that there are other valid views to consider. If people are able to accept others have opinions here and in the wider world without getting all defensive/aggressive then we can all learn alot!

I would really like advice from members who have different experiences with their dogs but I am open minded and I would rather listen to the views of many before I decide what is right for me and mine.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,758 Posts
I think that there are ways of expressing your opinions without upsetting people. For example, I am very passionate, as you all know, about raw feeding, but I would never tell anyone that they were wrong to feed their dog a cheap commercial dog food. That might be fact or it might be my opinion, one day there may be scientific proof that raw feeding is not as good as I believe it to be, so I might point someone in the direction to research different foods or lay out the alternatives for them and tell them my personal preference. Similarly with training methods - people have differing opinions and there is no way to prove that one is right and another wrong. If you believe that someone is giving wrong advice, you can politely state that in your opinion or experience, there may be an alternative, or recommend that the person researches or consults their vet for an expert opinion. In my opinion, it's as much about how you express yourself as what you say, and at the risk of repeating myself, about respect.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,578 Posts
So how would you feel if you were given the wrong advice and someone pointed it out - that would cause a difference of opinion? Or take the discussion on training methods where there are two camps of dog training? We are not just talking about two people having a difference of opinion we are talking about the entire world of dog training being divided and it is very interesting. I for one would like to be able to discuss these things sensibly with other members without people getting defensive just because I don't agree with another member poster. It does not mean that they are being targeted it just means that there are other valid views to consider. If people are able to accept others have opinions here and in the wider world without getting all defensive/aggressive then we can all learn alot!

I would really like advice from members who have different experiences with their dogs but I am open minded and I would rather listen to the views of many before I decide what is right for me and mine.

Couldn't have put it better myself Sezra.

I have learnt a lot from all types of dog owners and have also learnt lots from pedigree breeders too, all opinions are interesting to me.

You can beat other cockapoo owners for understanding the dogs better though in terms of what they are like to own and their traits etc...

Having differences of opinions at times is a good thing as sometimes it broadens the mind and often people can see both viewpoints and even can change their opinions.

People don't need to be rude though- but just because one may disagree it's the opinion/idea/theory that is being disagreed with and not the person.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,184 Posts
one thing we DO NOT WANT is hostility to any person or,breeder but if i may be honest with out getting shot !!!! jd you do over do your posts you have only been breeding a few years (stephen) julia has been a lot longer and more experience but when you post you do go over the top and you make me ! feel like i am not important and others feel the same way you advertise your puppies with videos linked to you tube that i feel is not ok ,i send individual videos and pics to my people i dont post on an internet forum i hope this does not upset you but this forum should be about people not a persons business and advertising , your advertising should be on your website or private ... janice
Janice I believe that Julia and Stephen are responding to the encouragement of a lot of members on this forum. I am not eagerly awaiting a puppy this summer but I have SO enjoyed viewing the videos and photos. We are, after all, Cockapoo mad on this forum otherwise we wouldn't be active members. Please don't stop JD!

I have also adored your updates and photos .....just wish you'd give us more! Lol. We're all gagging for a photo diary of your gorgeous pups! You've obviously had many years of experience and we value your comments and solutions. Please don't stop!

Karen and Rufus xx
 
1 - 20 of 59 Posts
Top