[mum2bobs]

The talk of Pam Ayres made me go and look this one up - hope no one minds

THE DOG WHO DIDN'T WIN A PRIZE

I'm the dog that didn't win a prize,
I didn't have the most appealing eyes.
All day in this heat, I've been standing on me feet,
WIth dogs of every other shape and size.

I've been harshly disinfected, I've been scrubbed,
I've been festooned in a towel and I've been rubbed.
I've been mercilessly brushed, robbed of all me fleas,
And now the judging's over, I've been snubbed.

Was it for obedience I was hailed?
As "Best Dog in the Show" I was regaled.
Oh! Not on your doggie life, pass me down the carving knife,
I had one thing said about me - it was, "FAILED"!!

I never for a moment thought that I would fail,
I thought at least I'd win "Waggiest Tail".
But no certificate, rosette or commendation did I get,
Nothing, on a kennel door to nail !

I am going in my kennel on my own!
Thank you, No, I do not want a bone.
Do not think you can console me with left-overs in my bowl,
My pride is mortified and I want to be left alone.

I've heard it from the wordly and the wise,
"Each dog has his day", they all advise,
But I see to my grief and sorrow, my day must have been tomorrow,
Oh, I'm the dog that didn't win a prize.