I Love My Cockapoo Forums banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 40 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,872 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
For anyone who is interested here are my thoughts on the post of the following thread http://ilovemycockapoo.com/showthread.php?t=4707

We as a couple, Stephen and I came onto this forum as Cockapoo owners and didn't feel the need hide the fact that we are also breeders. We have met some smashing people via this medium and have had a valuable insight into what really happens with our puppies after they leave us a 8 weeks old. We have learned so much and are very thankfully for that insight.

So confident were we in the balanced view of the Cockapoo world that was portrayed in ILMC that we posted a link to ILMC on our website home page. To date I believe this link has resulted in 14 referrals and new members for ILMC.

I understand the healthy need for open discussion and constructive criticism in most aspects of life and this forum offers such a platform. For that to be successful it relies on the members behaving in an adult and civil manner regardless of their views or opinions. What I am very disappointed about is that over the past few months it has become apparent on ILMC that whilst the majority of members are absolutely appropriate, there are a handful who break these common courtesy codes and revert to group bullying behaviour that is more commonly witnessed in a girls school playground. This behaviour makes the ILMC a very unpleasant arena to be in from time to time, and I am not the first to state this.

In the above mentioned thread Wellerfeller made a direct and open criticism to Stephen personally, which was in effect a mis-quote from a page on the CCGB. The CCGB is not Stephen's club and neither was the page written by him. Can you then wonder why Stephen took this personally, and as a result felt it unjust and made him very angry indeed. I would suggest that a much more appropriate approach would have been to more politely and formally raise this observation, that potentially Wellerfeller had spotted a sentence that could be misunderstood and put it to one of the CCGB Committee Members. They in turn could discuss the matter with the Committee and adjust it if they felt the need to do so.

I am stuck in the middle here as I am disappointed with both sides: with Stephen for having to express his angst at Wellerfeller and at Wellerfeller and her associates for behaving like a gang of school bullies. We are grown-ups here so let us behave like adults.

As a result I no longer feel that I can recommend ILMC as a balanced and just community so I have removed the ILMC link from our JD Website. Those eagle eyed of you will have noticed I have removed Stephens name from our signature and I have asked him not to post on this site again. Essentially this is now my ILMC profile exclusively.

Lastly, for those who are interested, I have a saying by which I try to live my life and I offer it here:
‘Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one’s who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.
Julia
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,568 Posts
Julia, there was only one person who can be called a bully on yesterdays thread and it certainly wasn't me!
I have no associates....just people with a common interest and similar views. I still stand by the fact that in my opinion and it seems many others, the wording in the discussed link is wrong and shouldn't be offered out as advice.
I had no intention of starting anything with anyone, just saw something I think can do a large amount of harm to the dogs and so I wished to express that. It is not bullying, it is a differing opinion. That is all.
A differing opinion is not something to get nasty about, if you would like to tell me where exactly I started bullying and being personal then tell me, because it is obvious to me when the tone of the debate turned. I spoke to Stephen as he posted the link.
I would have posted the same comment to whoever had posted that particular link, I can promise you that.
I was hoping the tone of my original comment was in a light hearted manner but the reply was definately not in the same tone.
You are right in the fact that life is too short for this and so I will leave the subject now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,257 Posts
Agreed move on ... life is too short ... and hard enough ...

I feel the comment made by Karen was helpful advice and not meant with any bad feeling.. thats not Karen's style ... she is a great member of this forum and a friend to all xxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,578 Posts
Oh dear how very sad to see people being accused of "bullying" because they happen to share the same opinion. :(

Belonging to a few forums I often see people come and go.

I think if you feel a forum is no longer the right one for you then always best to quietly leave.

Obviously you still feel this forum has something to offer you Julia- hence why you are still staying. Although I don't understand why? if you feel you cannot recommend it nor feel it is just or balanced then why do you still want to be part of something you find so disagreeable?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,615 Posts
I agree with the above from Karen. I resent the suggestion of bullying just because members hold a different view to others but I am not going to start the debate again. People can read what has been said and being perfectly civil and articulate adults can make their own minds up about what has gone on.
 

·
Registered
Obi, Roo & Poppy
Joined
·
4,159 Posts
Julia, with all due respect, I'm sorry but I have to disagree that there is a group on here bullying anyone! I happen to think Stephen's response to Karen's post was over the top but does that make a bully because I think that?

We all have to respect that we may not all agree on everything all of the time but that each of us has a right to voice an opinion appropriately. Whether that opinion is shared with another person or others is irrelevant.

You and Stephen in particular are open to comment on here because you are vocal and active member with strong opinions of your own, you have, until recently, linked your business with this forum and are part of the founder team of the CCGB. If you want to be so prominent then you must accept that not everyone will agree with you and not be so defensive.

I personally don't like the thought of anyone having to leave here so I hope Stephen doesn't stay away too long.

I hope everyone can move on from this and try to get along. It's nearly Christmas!! Peace and goodwill to all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,132 Posts
When we’re not face-to-face I think it’s easy to throw around the ‘bullying’ remark when in fact it’s a serious accusation. I hope no one on here thinks I’m a bully – I’m not necessarily pink and fluffy :)P this might all chance when I finally get a Cockapoo…!) but I’m not a bully by any stretch of the imagination and I apologise if this is how I have come across.

Turi x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,257 Posts
When we’re not face-to-face I think it’s easy to throw around the ‘bullying’ remark when in fact it’s a serious accusation. I hope no one on here thinks I’m a bully – I’m not necessarily pink and fluffy :)P this might all chance when I finally get a Cockapoo…!) but I’m not a bully by any stretch of the imagination and I apologise if this is how I have come across.

Turi x
You are no bully ...

This is a cockapoo forum .. no need for any such thing :)

As for not being 'pink and fluffy' .. hey don't knock it .. others have used this term ... I see pink and fluffy as staying happy :) it doesn't mean you can't have an opinion or strong views ... :) :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,257 Posts
ha ha ha ... well I would say I am a fluffy, light hearted and giggly member but if you do ever meet me you will see for yourself I am far from pink and fluffy lol ....

Stay happy and fun ... just like our poos :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
739 Posts
Pink and fluffy is very good!! I don't know about others, but i come on here for abit of light-hearted chat, to give advice to others, to get advice from others and to hear about everyone else's poo's (cockapoo's that is!!) :D

I think most people come on here for a bit of a wind down to chat about a common interest and share stories/ experiences.

In a situation like this where people are communicating in the written word, things will be taken the wrong way on occasion. I think the ccgb (aswell as the cockapoo-owners club) gives added value to the cockapoo world and i understand that the founders of the club(s) may take comments personally. I do however, think Karens comment was a genuine concern that readers may be misled and wold agree with her concern. I also think that the response she got was disgusting. As has already been said, we are all adults here- no adult i know would dream of responding in such a way.

My heart sinks when threads like this arise- i know i should just not read them but still manage to get sucked in.

The thing that is so ridiculous about it is that surely we all have the same interests at heart? I don't use forums- i am registered on the odd other but this is the only one i use. If i was a new user i wouldn't dream of participating in a site which came across so bitchy, which is a shame because the one reason i use this forum over others is that it is not usually a nasty atmosphere.

Julia- i don't really understand why you feel it necessary to remove the ILMC link from the JD site but that is your choice. I wouldn't want to be part of a site that not only i would not recommend, but would actively remove my recommendation from- but hey, maybe thats just me.

Jojo has hit the nail on the head with pink and fluffy, these forums are ment to be for enjoyment so be pink, be fluffy and enjoy!! :p
 
G

·
well i have just bathed and blow dryed lola(indias)! my f2 cockapoo and she is all pink (red) and fluffy my nick name in village is pink poodle but then i do drive a pink fiat 500 limited edition janice xx
 
1 - 20 of 40 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top