help! first night with 8 week old puppy a disaster!

27529 Views 25 Replies 22 Participants Last post by Miranda&Monty, Dec 26, 2011

Teresanorthstar

Discussion Starter · Dec 20, 2011

Hi

picked up lovely puppy yesterday (pictures soon). I think she,s called Poppy, well that!s what the kids have named her!

last night was awful, we put her in crate about 10.00 pm,and she cried and barked incessantly. I stayed with her until midnight, when she was fast asleep, as soon as I left, she started again, non stop. I got up about 3.00' husband got up at 5.00 and again at 6.00. She only settled when a person Comforted her. The noise was incredible!

Also, despite taking her outside every 45 mins, she hasn't gone outside, but has done plenty in the house and her crate bedding!

Is it just too early for her, are we already going wrong?

Any tips, advice gratefulluy received.

Thanks

Teresa
X
started again

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Rufini

· #2 · Dec 20, 2011

Sounds like you're doing everything fine. The first week really tends to be the hardest! She probally misses her brothers and sisters, remember it is probally the first ever time she's been on her own in her life!!

Just keep doing what you're doing. Routine is key. Also, it will take a while for her to get used to going to the toilet outside. Best thing to do is keep at it and everytime she does her business outside treat her with a lot of yummy treats and praise.

My Vincent still whines at night when we put him to bed, and first thing in the morning if we've not come downstairs quick enough! Some dogs pick it up well, some don't. But the key is.... stick at it!!

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jogary

· #3 · Dec 20, 2011

Hi. I know exactly what you mean. We are going through the same with a 10 week old puppy, Lily. We've had her for 2 weeks now. For us, toilet training is the most difficult. I think she's got the hang of poos outside and she cries at the back door to go in the garden. But wee's are a nightmare. We stand outside and play with her for ages and then she comes in the house and wees. Not the same place, and just little tiny ones but every 20-30 mins. Is this normal? She also has 'excitement' wees! With the crate, the only thing I can recommend is not to go and comfort her because I think it will protract things. I know its hard because you feel sorry for them. We resisted the first night and from the second night, never a sound until she hears up get up in the morning. She wimpers for about a minute when she first goes in but once the lights are out she's fine. Some people recommend getting the puppy to use the crate to sleep in the day time to get them to 'like' being in there. We've had a few soilings in the crate and that's a yucky job. We bought her a lovely bed but that was ruined by day 2. Now I use some old clothes which can be thrown away until she can manage a night without soiling. This morning, she had pood and rolled in it! It's been such hard work that at times I've thought 'what have we done?' but she's so loving that you just get on with it. Our house smells of disinfectant and my hands are like prunes from all the cleaning up. It can only get better, good luck with the next few days!

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Laura(L)Izzie

· #4 · Dec 20, 2011

The main advice I would give it not to go down to her! If you really want to train her to sleep away from you then unfortnately you have to let her cry. I know that sounds awful & we had it terrible with my second pup (although we decided that she hated being alone altogether & just wouldn't settle properly so she now sleeps in our rooms with our older dog). However if you keep going down to her when she cries then she wil associate crying with getting attentions & you don't want her to get in to that routine... The only time you should go down to her is if you are going to let her out to wee or poo, & when you go down I would advise you to try to wait until there is a pause in her crying, that way she isn't associating the crying with you coming down. Some dogs settles easily (my oldest girl did when she came home) but my little one was a nightmare (but we do think that could have had something to do with her knowing that Izzie wasn't downstairs) so as I said they both sleep on blankets in our bedrooms now & they sleep right through the night & then Poppy cries for a wee between 9am & 10.30am which is good

Also with Poppy (my little one) she messed in her crate quite a few times (poos) whereas Izzie never did! So when they poo in their crate they can become very distressed because it's where they sleep & it will need cleaning up for her. But again I think this was because she hated being alone because as soon as we moved her upstairs she slept through the night with barely any accidents at all, and if we went out & had to leave her in the kitchen on her own for an hour or so then she would have been guaranteed to have done a poo! (she doesn't now as she's a bit older - but she still generally does wees when we leave her). Which is where it comes down to the individual dog because Izzie was brilliant at toilet training & not doing wees in the house when left, but Poppy was much more difficult to sort out lol.

Good luck! I hope you sort out something that works for you, some people move the crate to the bedroom so that they know you're there, others persevere with keeping them downstairs etc, just find what's best for you & your family & something you're happy with

x

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DONNA

· #5 · Dec 20, 2011

Hi Teresa,I can tell you what I did with Buddy and it seemed to work.
I put Buddy's crate in our room for the first 3 nights,this way when he howled that awful howl I could tell him to sssh and he did ,I would cover his crate with a blanket.
I then put his crate in the lounge again with blanket over ,he cryed no more howling for a few nights but it wasn't as bad.
I would say it toke a full week before the crying stopped (he would only do it for 5mins a night so not. To bad)

So give it a week it will get better.

As for the wee etc ,Buddy had a vet bed in his crate I folded it in half and put a puppy pad in the other half incase of accidents,apart from the first couple of nights he never used it.

The first few weeks I would get up between4.30 5.30 then as the weeks went by and he could hold it longer we ended up at 6.30-7am before he needed to be let out.

it does get easier honest dx

Casey11

· #6 · Dec 20, 2011

Laura(L)Izzie said:
The main advice I would give it not to go down to her! If you really want to train her to sleep away from you then unfortnately you have to let her cry. I know that sounds awful & we had it terrible with my second pup (although we decided that she hated being alone altogether & just wouldn't settle properly so she now sleeps in our rooms with our older dog). However if you keep going down to her when she cries then she wil associate crying with getting attentions & you don't want her to get in to that routine... The only time you should go down to her is if you are going to let her out to wee or poo, & when you go down I would advise you to try to wait until there is a pause in her crying, that way she isn't associating the crying with you coming down. Some dogs settles easily (my oldest girl did when she came home) but my little one was a nightmare (but we do think that could have had something to do with her knowing that Izzie wasn't downstairs) so as I said they both sleep on blankets in our bedrooms now & they sleep right through the night & then Poppy cries for a wee between 9am & 10.30am which is good

Also with Poppy (my little one) she messed in her crate quite a few times (poos) whereas Izzie never did! So when they poo in their crate they can become very distressed because it's where they sleep & it will need cleaning up for her. But again I think this was because she hated being alone because as soon as we moved her upstairs she slept through the night with barely any accidents at all, and if we went out & had to leave her in the kitchen on her own for an hour or so then she would have been guaranteed to have done a poo! (she doesn't now as she's a bit older - but she still generally does wees when we leave her). Which is where it comes down to the individual dog because Izzie was brilliant at toilet training & not doing wees in the house when left, but Poppy was much more difficult to sort out lol.

Good luck! I hope you sort out something that works for you, some people move the crate to the bedroom so that they know you're there, others persevere with keeping them downstairs etc, just find what's best for you & your family & something you're happy with x

I agree with Laura, as hard as it is you have to ignore it im afraid :-( The whining will stop when she gets used to her environment and routine.

xxx

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Soo

· #7 · Dec 20, 2011

As Laura has suggested its either having to harden up and let her cry until she realises it gets her nowhere and she is as well settling and going to sleep or have her in the room with you. If you start with her in a crate by your bed you can gradually move it a little further from you each night if you really dont want her in your room so that she gets used to it. If you go to her when she is crying you are reinforcing it and teaching her that to get you to come back she has to cry so you will get lots more crying.

I dont mind dogs in my bed, Im a pretty Alpha female so dont have to worry about the dominance side of things. The collies slept in my bed 14 years, it was hubby who married me in their last couple of years that moaned about the dogs but I wasnt putting old dogs that had always slept with me out. So hubby has made noises about the cockapoos sleeping in the kitchen. I knew that this meant a while of broken sleep for us all and that hubby was less likely stay strong on it than me. First night Mitz wailed for 2.5 hours slept a couple then wailed another few mins then slept until 8am. Second night was worse, with not much sleep for anyone. She was loose in the kitchen with her crate open and paper by the back door. Third night we had someone staying with who will be with us for around a month. Hubby liften Mitz at bed time and brought her into bed, I just smiled in the darkness. It was only to be for the few nights before we got Peppa then both dogs were to sleep together in the kitchen but as another pup is a month away at least it seems she is in our bed for the moment.

So you have to decide if you want her to start where she is going to be ie the kitchen. If so then you have to stop going back to her when she is crying. Make sure she has some time during the day where she will be at night preferably with you going out so she realised that when she is there she is as well sleeping and it also gives her more time to get used to it. Try having some favourite toys or a stuffed kong that only goes down when she is being shut in.

Or you could try the crate and moving it away a little more each night to gradually get her used to it.

Or you could be a sap like us........

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Turi

· #8 · Dec 20, 2011

Hi Teresa,

You got your puppy from Broadreach didn't you? That is where Marcus, my partner and I are getting our puppy from in February.

I'm sorry to hear you had a nightmare first night - you must be exhausted.

I think the key in the early days is to be consistent and firm. Re toileting issues this thread is quite useful: http://www.ilovemycockapoo.com/showthread.php?t=4238&highlight=Turi

There are two schools of thought re crating at night. If you read Gwen Bailey's 'The Perfect Puppy' she suggests letting the puppy sleep in your room on the first night as being separated from siblings and Mum will be traumatic as it is, let alone sleeping alone. Gwen advises that with this method you slowly move the crate further and further out of the room until it's eventually in its place downstairs.

The other school of thought, as others have said here, is to leave the puppy when he/she cries. In order for this method to work I assume the puppy needs to have been played with, needs to be tired, needs to be cosy (perhaps you could find a dog-friendly hot water bottle and could try covering the crate with a blanket so he/she feels more 'safe'?) and obviously needs to have been fed and watered. Where water is concerned remove it from 7/8pm if he/she isn't lasting through the night.

The most important thing with either method is that you don't go to the puppy when he/she is crying. He/she will learn that crying will get your attention and unwillingly you'll be reinforcing this behaviour.

I've only read the theory and have no experience myself so I can only imagine how hard it is but remember he/she will settle in!

Have you also tried calling Anne for advice?

Turi x

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Dee123

· #9 · Dec 20, 2011

You're doing a great job it just takes time. Mielo soiled his first night but after that he settled in well gradually fewer mistakes in his crate and now he holds on from 10am till 8am!

Maybe you cold try staying out with her for fifteen minutes when you go out. Maybe the longer you stay, the more likely she will go? (I know its freezing out there I used to take a hot water bottle with me). Also try putting her poo on the spot you would like her to use. It should help her get the idea. If she goes, lots of praise and treats!

As for the soiling her crate, maybe take out the bedding during the day when shes not sleeping and replace at night??? The old clothes idea is also worth a try.

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Soo

· #10 · Dec 20, 2011

The reason we had left the crate open was to stop Mitzy soiling in it as once they get into the habit it can be hard to break. If you are going to continue with her in the kitchen or wherever maybe you could fashion a pen of some sort with the crate in it with the door open and some paper outside it to encourage the pup to leave their bed to toilet and not mess where they are. Pups are variable in how long they can hold on, I know Mitzy can pee three times one hour and then go hours without so I wouldnt risk shutting her in at the moment until house training is going a bit better and I know she wont soil her bed.

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Hfd

· #11 · Dec 20, 2011

I think that you just need to be consistent with whatever approach you take. We put Billy in his closed crate in the kitchen with a blanket over from the first night, he whined for about an hour but we just ignored him, he woke a couple of times and we eventually got up with him at 5.30am. This lasted for 2 or 3 nights and then bingo - not a peep out of him. From that first week he has slept 10.30pm till 7.30am!
Regarding toilet training, we pu a puppy pad in half the crate for about 4 weeks but it was rarely used after the first week. There will be accidents in the house for a few weeks but if you just continue to praise / treat every time they do go outside then eventually it just clicks.
Good luck with it all. H x

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Rileypoo

· #12 · Dec 20, 2011

Hi there, I totally appreciate what you are going through but please believe when people tell you it does get better!! Our little Riley is 11 weeks old today, we bought him home at 8 weeks and became disillusioned very quickly with having a puppy!!
We put Riley in his crate and I was fairly adamant I would do the 'proper' crate training thing (ie no paper down in crate and they won't mess....yeah right!) , bought and read the book etc but gave in very quickly and half papered/half bed his crate. We close the crate door, say a very business like, good night, be good and off we go. Riley cried most of the first 2/3 nights and it was real tough love but we didn't go down to him at all until 6am. Every night he would poo and wet his paper and the kitchen ponged!
After those first few days he stopped the crying but continued messing but now he is clean overnight, takes himself to bed at 8.45pm like clockwork and is still asleep at 6am so we are gradually making it later coming down to him.
All the advice on here is fantastic but I honestly believe you have to do what is right for you, as others have said be consistent and start as you mean to go on. As someone said to me, they are not babies and mustn't be treated like babies..........although that is easier said than done at 2am!

Good luck and honestly it gets better as does the toilet training!

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Turi

· #13 · Dec 20, 2011

Rileypoo said:
Hi there, I totally appreciate what you are going through but please believe when people tell you it does get better!! Our little Riley is 11 weeks old today, we bought him home at 8 weeks and became disillusioned very quickly with having a puppy!!
We put Riley in his crate and I was fairly adamant I would do the 'proper' crate training thing (ie no paper down in crate and they won't mess....yeah right!) , bought and read the book etc but gave in very quickly and half papered/half bed his crate. We close the crate door, say a very business like, good night, be good and off we go. Riley cried most of the first 2/3 nights and it was real tough love but we didn't go down to him at all until 6am. Every night he would poo and wet his paper and the kitchen ponged!
After those first few days he stopped the crying but continued messing but now he is clean overnight, takes himself to bed at 8.45pm like clockwork and is still asleep at 6am so we are gradually making it later coming down to him.
All the advice on here is fantastic but I honestly believe you have to do what is right for you, as others have said be consistent and start as you mean to go on. As someone said to me, they are not babies and mustn't be treated like babies..........although that is easier said than done at 2am!

Good luck and honestly it gets better as does the toilet training!

Brilliant advise

Turi x

Janev1000

· #14 · Dec 20, 2011

These poos are very clever and learn fast. We took the strict approach and have never looked back. The key is not to come across as anxious and be a firm and confident 'pack leader' who they learn to trust quickly (bit of Dog Whisperer advice there!) but it does seem to work. I have found a puppy much easier than when I had babies as I have found it much easier to be 'in control' of a puppy than being 'controlled' by a newborn's constant demands to feed, which cannot be ignored. If you can get your sleep then everything else will seem much easier to manage.

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barrelman

· #15 · Dec 20, 2011

DON'T go down to her. We learned the hard way. Two nights I was up and down the stairs. I laid on floor with ours and he settled. As soon as I tried to creep back to bed he cried.
Our breeder recommended putting him in his cage with blanket over and ignoring crying. Hardest thing I've done with him but one night later he clearly understood that blanket on cage meant night time and sleep. Good luck

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curt3007

· #16 · Dec 20, 2011

I invested in some good ear plugs for 1st few nights, it really works , hard I know but pays off in the long run , good luck

Pollypiglet

· #17 · Dec 20, 2011

The thing is you read all the books and think you know how you will deal with it then you get your dog! Personally for the sake of my sanity and my neighbours peace(although they never complained) after three nights I moved Hattie's crate into my room. She will sleep in there in her bed eventually anyway. She settled much more quickly and now goes into her crate without fuss (I have had her 5 weeks now). If I get up for a comfort break I pop her in the garden and she also has a comfort stop then goes back without fuss. It is very much down to the individual dog and how they have to fit into your lifestyle, don't get too hung up on the 'right' thing to do go with your gut feelings and you should be fine.

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Vicky

· #18 · Dec 20, 2011

Oh dear all I can say is trust me it does get better. Cookie took to her create quite fast and never really cried at night. But the toilet tranning seemed never ending. But fom reading I would say you are doing everything right. I put a radio on in the kitchen with Cookie and a ticking clock in her create wraped in one of my old jumpers. I took her water bowl away after 7 as well. I also got up and took her outside every three hours during the night as I read some where that a puppy can only hold there bladder for 4 hours. But your poppy is still very young thou it will come in time.

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Janev1000

· #19 · Dec 20, 2011

Ear plugs are great!! I've used them for decades as am a light sleeper (and I have 3 boys as well!)

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Rustler

· #20 · Dec 20, 2011

Hi Teresa,

We also got our puppy from Anne. We crated Stevie at night and didn't go down to her, the first couple of nights she cried for 20/30 mins and then after that she just cried for a short time and then settled down.

It really does get better, we seem now at 14 weeks to have got the toilet training sorted (fingers crossed):jumping:. We have been lucky in that soiling the crate at night to date has not been a problem, it was just the rest of the time.

You could always give Anne a ring, I've contacted her several times with queries since we got Stevie and she's always got back to me with good advice.
You'll also get lots of advice and support from ILMC.

Hope you have a better night.

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